Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
