Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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