At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
