try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
