I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
