Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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