whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
