Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
