hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
