My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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