just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
