i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
