i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize