he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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