Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
