Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
