He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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