Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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