It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
