my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
