I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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