There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
