wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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