you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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