we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
