thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
