the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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