we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
