Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
