There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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