you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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