I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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