can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize