Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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