Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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