im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
