After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
do herpes really smell.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize