So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hippo gnu deer
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
