we made out on top of his cat.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
