hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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