I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
