FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
