Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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