I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
