Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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