sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
