Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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