Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
