I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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