Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
