I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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