I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm always down for nudity.
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