it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
