maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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