I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
