Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
