Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize