I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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