Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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