I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
