it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
