His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
