i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
