i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
