i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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