Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
