apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
