no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
