He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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