i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
