how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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