it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
