Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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