he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
