hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize