After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
