I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
