I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
