I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
