she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize