You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize