while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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